Starting Again

I had my last appointment today with my doctor. I will be seeing a new doc in October.  I’m not sure how I feel about this.  My former doc said she talked to the new doctor about me and explained a number of things to her.  She said the new doctor is OK with the medication refusal.  I always feel bad about it.  It’s not because I’m an anti psychiatric drug person, it’s just that my body can’t seem to tolerate them.  I have friends that the meds have helped tremendously and I have other friends in which the drugs have done more harm then good.  And now I have developed a fear of taking any type of psychiatric drug.   The former doctor really wanted me to try Seroquel (Quetiapine).  But I just can’t bring myself to try it.

The psychiatrist I see is really good.  He doesn’t push me to take any drugs at all. In fact he doesn’t even talk about to me except to suggest something I should try every once in awhile.  He respects how I feel about it and works with me in other ways to deal with my disorders. I am really grateful for that. I have developed ways of coping with the panic disorder/agoraphobia.  Some of them I’m sure are not healthy but they work for now until I can learn other coping strategies. But somehow I still feel bad about not taking anything.

And so I start again.

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