I’m dreading my therapy appointment tomorrow evening. I know that my t has written a letter to my pdoc and physician explaining her reasoning for the impending break. She has not sent it yet because apparently she needs to run this sort of stuff through her supervisor before it leaves the office. She also told me that she would show it to me before sending it off.
I want to see this letter but not really. Seeing it written down will finalize it for me. It will be written in stone. I will not be able to deny the words that are written in black and white before me. I don’t think I will feel good after this session assuming of course I see the letter.
This past week I had seen my doctor. I told her what was going on and she seemed shocked herself. She told me that she didn’t know what to say. At least she was honest and admitted it and didn’t try to make me feel better. I told her that I was only able to give her my side of the story and that maybe she would understand better after she received the letter from my t. I told her that maybe it would make perfect sense to her after she read it. She just said “maybe”.
My doctor than went on to say that she would phone and call me in to discuss the letter after she received and had time to read it. She said that she would fit me in at the end of her day. I told her that it wasn’t necessary, that I will see her at my next appointment. I know how extremely busy she is. Being a rural doc and female and very popular makes for a very busy schedule. In fact she doesn’t take new patients, as her caseload is overly full. But she insisted that she wanted to see me regardless. I feel humbled by that. I always feel humbled when others want to support me and I never know what to say to that.
I’m really dreading tomorrow.