As we continued discussing what I had written out for my t she said there were a couple of danger signs that we needed to pay attention to. One of the things I had written about was all the unrest I have felt and been ignoring during the sessions. She thought we needed to listen to that and slow down what we are doing. My t told me that what I am doing is extremely hard work and I was putting a lot of effort into it. She said she had an idea that it was getting overwhelming for me from a reaction she saw in me last week. Apparently at one point in last weeks session she mentioned to me that we need to get all the parts talking to one another. I guess when she said this I got this totally freaked out look on my face. I’m glad she remembers this because I certainly don’t.
My t then told me another surprising thing. I thought it was interesting that she was telling me some of this stuff. She said that she herself was going home exhausted after some of our sessions because of the intensity of our work.
I do have a way of dealing with these sessions though because sometimes the aftermath of them is tougher than the session itself. I have an hour and a half trip home from smallish city to small town so I stop at Tim Horton’s for an Ice Cap on the way out , turn up the tunes and when I get home play on my game machine for a few hours. All this to distance myself from the session so I can revisit the session from a safer spot. It might not be productive but it does work for me.
My t also told me another dangerous area that I wrote about was my ‘get it done’ attitude. She really tried to impress on me that we can’t rush through this work and ‘get it done’ as I would like to. After she said this I looked at her and said “you suck, let’s do the dangerous thing”. She just sat there and smiled at me. It seems she has some of me figured out. Sometimes that does suck. In the end we decided that we would continue to work on what we have been only at a much slower pace and if we have to pick it up again after the break we will. My t wants to try something different. I think she told me what it was but I can’t remember what she said.
I do have more to share about this session. When I modified my blog post before I gave it to her I actually added some content. I took a leap and put some of my needy type stuff in. I will blog about it when I have given it some thought and am able to put it into words.