You can do it. I have great faith that you can.
I wouldn’t do this (end therapy) if I knew you couldn’t.
These words were often spoken to me by my former t especially near the end of therapy. The words annoy the crap out of me, to put it mildly. My response to her when she first said them was “I know I can do it”. I have been doing it all my life. She would then say that she knew I could do it in a healthy way. Going for walks, using my (supposed) supports, kayaking, etc. I would say back to her, I have been doing those things all my life. They are nothing new to me.
We were talking about coping.
She would continue the conversation by saying how as a child I figured out how to cope with all the crap going on. I would just shrug my shoulders. I did what I did. I always had healthy coping skills mixed in with the bad coping skills.
After the first few times she said this to me I quit responding to it. I would just smile at her. Sometimes I wasn’t sure who she was trying to convince, herself or me. But more often then not I started equating with what she was saying to ‘now therapy can end because you can cope in a healthy way’.
And this is one of the reasons for the first break and for therapy ending. So I can put into practice those skills I learned.
I would tell her that I wanted more then just coping. Healthy or otherwise.
F*** coping. I just want to be able to live my life fully and not have it directed by what happened in the past. Is that to much to ask?