I have been wondering about the therapeutic relationship. Normally I do a lot of reading on anything that affects me but oddly enough I’ve done very little reading about therapy and all that goes with it. So what I’m writing here is largely out of ignorance on the subject.  I just feel the need to ramble on a bit about it.

For some reason I’ve recently realized there are two words in ‘therapeutic relationship’. I have given the relationship part much thought. My head knows that there are many types of relationships.  But this particular type of relationship is confusing to me.

Now I’m wondering about the therapeutic part of the relationship.  How does a relationship become therapeutic? What is ‘therapeutic’ anyway?  Is it something the therapist does, something I do or is it something we both do together?  How would I even know if the relationship is therapeutic or toxic when I tend to be confused about this type of relationship?

So many questions.

Thing is, my head knows the answer to some of these questions but the kid part of me doesn’t seem to be able to think logically or even reasonably.

So I’m still left with so many questions.

This entry was posted in Attachment, Relationships, Therapist, Therapy, Trust. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Questions

  1. JBR says:

    Very good question. I believe it all depends on the individual t. Some have more of the nurturing kind, than the ones that for the “legal” rules. of being a t. Not saying the ones that nurture and give more of themselves, step over the boundaries. I still respect my t. as a t. Could never be a friend. But, she is more than “just a t.” in my eyes. Believe me, they are just as human as we are. We issues as well. They process as well not only their stuff, but I am sure “at times” our stuff as well. Oh well, I attempted to say what I hoped was clear….

    • lostinamaze says:

      I can see how part of the ‘therapeutic’ would be having a t that is a good fit so to speak. And having a t that can figure out how to work with us as individuals would be as they say in the ads ‘priceless’.

  2. Therapeutic means…
    of or relating to the healing of disease : diagnostic and therapeutic facilities.
    • administered or applied for reasons of health : a therapeutic shampoo.
    • having a good effect on the body or mind; contributing to a sense of well-being : a therapeutic silence

    What does that mean in therapy though? I guess it would be a reduction of symptoms, the ability to grow as a person and change your life or perception?

    For me, it’s being able to see the connections that have happened before and how it relates to who I am now….and where I go from here. A lot easier said than done though.

    OldT once told me that the first rule of being a therapist is to do no harm. I think we regress sometimes though as we work, but we should ultimately be moving forward.

    • lostinamaze says:

      In therapy I was able to make some of those connections but didn’t really get to the part of ‘where do I go from here’. Hopefully with my next t that will happen. I know it won’t be easy though. I will also have to take some time to process what happened with my former t.

      • I’ve been thinking about leaving you another message since I posted the one above. Sorry for throwing in my interpretation of it all. You didn’t ask for it so I shouldn’t have intruded like that. I just wanted to let you know I was here, listening, contemplating your thoughts and opinions.

        Can I ask what you’re doing to process your former T? How are you making it on your own so far?

        • lostinamaze says:

          No worries, I appreciate what you have to offer and your support. Every little bit helps me. The first thought that came to my head when I read the definition was ‘why didn’t I think of that?’. People’s thoughts often give me another way to look at things which is helpful since I tend to get stuck in some unhelpful mindsets.

          I’m not really processing what has happened at all. I’m doing ok on my own but I think I will need a therapist to help me process what happened. There are too many conflicting emotions within when I let myself dwell on it for too long. I still really struggle with what happened when I let myself think about it. So mostly I have been able to shove what happened to some corner of my mind. Probably not overly healthy but the safest thing at this point. (and then there’s all the trauma stuff)

          • If I knew you in real life, I would give you such a big bear hug. I wish I could be there for you, someone to talk to and lean on. You can make it through this, I promise. I really hope you can find someone who will understand you and genuinely help you to process and move forward.

            I think of you often. XX

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