First Session

All week I was on the verge of cancelling my first group therapy session.  So much has been going on with my mom.  She is back in the hospital and a few days ago I thought she might not make it.  She is doing better but in the meantime there has been so much to deal with concerning her stuff.  At the same time I feel I need to do the group therapy so I decided to go.

As I walked into the room I noticed the chairs were in a circle.  I hate circles.  They make me nervous.  I’d rather sit at a long table or in a row.  The second thing I noticed was large pieces of blank paper on a few tables.  Oh yeah, I seemed to have forgotten that creativity was going to be incorporated into these sessions.  Creative I am not.

Then I sat down, pulling the chair just a wee bit out of the circle hoping nobody noticed. Did I mention I dislike being in a circle?   The first thing we did was introduce ourselves with one thing we like to do.  I said kayaking.  Then we had to do a bunch of business type stuff, goals and what not.  After we got through this our attention was directed to the large blank pieces of paper.   The co-facilitator asked us to introduce ourselves in a broader way by drawing and not using words.  They told us that being artistic wasn’t the point of the exercise.  That’s good because my stick dog wasn’t pretty 🙂

I stared at the blank piece of paper.  What would people even want to know about me.  I found myself thinking that I didn’t have anything interesting to say/draw about myself.  I really struggled with this.  I finally decided to draw what I love and a few things I do.  I kept the things I do generic because I didn’t want to get into details with people I don’t know and their connections outside of the group.  In a smaller city  these people might be total strangers or they might be connected in some way to people I know without me realizing it.  It has happened before that I have had mutual friends with someone who is a stranger to me. It has made me a little paranoid.

This will be an interesting group experience for me.  This group is for women who have had relationships in which abuse, imbalance, etc has played a part.  It includes childhood relationships as well as adult ones.  We’ll see where it takes me.

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6 Responses to First Session

  1. JBR says:

    Hoping your mum does better…….

    I do not like circles either. Daily at work there is eleven us that have to sit around a table for a meeting. I choose to sit behind them all. Besides circles, being that close makes me uncomfortable.
    I believe always one is hesitant to share anything about themselves in a group setting or one on one until that trust is established. And even then……. very cautious.

    • lostinamaze says:

      Thanks JBR. I would have a hard time doing it on a daily basis as well. I think it’s healthy to be cautious but it has been interesting to see how others in the group deal with strangers.

  2. I think you are very courageous and look forward to hearing how your group therapy sessions work out. How do you feel knowing it’s for a limited number of sessions?

    Sorry to hear your mum hasn’t been so great, hope things take a turn for the better.

    • lostinamaze says:

      I really like having a limited numbers of sessions with group therapy. This way I know when it will end. I also don’t get attached when I know it is for a limited time. It’s much easier for me.

  3. Harriet says:

    This sounds like an incredibly difficult experience – you are very brave to have done this, and I hope you grow from the experience. Keep us posted about how it works out, and also how you feel after the sessions are over, I wonder what kind of feelings you would have the next day?

    • lostinamaze says:

      Interestingly enough I have no feelings one way or another after the session. Part of the reason may be because a good part of my focus is on my mom at the moment. I find in group therapy I don’t get emotionally involved. I’m not able to do that within a group setting. But I do learn a lot regardless of that fact.

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