I sit in my car and wonder if this will be the last time I will be in this parking lot. My former therapist works for this agency and now group therapy is coming to an end. I feel at odds about it. I’m sad that therapy is ending once again but glad I don’t have to drive in winter conditions. I drove in a blizzard on my way to this last session. Not fun.
We had decided that we would have a fondue and snacks. Each of us including the facilitators brought something. We started the session with eating. It was all very yummy.
Then we gathered in our circle one last time. First we had to take care of some business.
The week before we had to fill out the outcome questionnaires one last time. I had a feeling I didn’t do well on mine. I was having a bummed out week and it was probably reflected in my answers. I was dreading what would be the result of it. And it wasn’t good. My score had worsened. Even so I felt confident the facilitators wouldn’t bother me with it since this was the last session.
We revisited our goals and discussed how we may have worked our way towards some of them. I told them how I worked toward one of my goals by being open with one of my friends a I few weeks ago. My friend’s sister has a serious mental illness and she had told me the struggle they both were having trying to work their way through the system and how my friend was struggling to understand her sister illness. After much debating with myself I told her I understood some of what she was going through and then I took a bigger leap and told her why.
I actually ended up talking a lot in this session. Somehow I found this an easier session. I think because it was the end and the pressure was off.
After business was taken care of we read the farewell cards that each of us had done for each other. It was a very powerful and emotional time. It caught me off guard. I didn’t cry but felt emotional when the cards addressed to me were read. I was overwhelmed by what was said about me. I’m not sure how they saw the stuff they said in me. Then the facilitators gave each one of us two red roses. It was really nice.
It was getting close to the ending time and we gave each other a hug and as one of the facilitators hugged me she asked me if I could stay a few minutes after.
I guess they weren’t going to let my worse score go unnoticed.
to be continued…