Simple is not so Simple

I’m glad my doctor’s appointment was yesterday.  Today our town had to declare a state of emergency.  There has been a raging blizzard for a couple of days with temps of -30 c and that doesn’t include the wind chill factor.  All the highways are closed in the area and the town is full of people trapped here.  To say it’s nasty out there is an understatement.

I did have to drive through the snow storm to get to the clinic about a half hour away.  I told the doc I’m still feeling illish and my cough is hanging on.  She could still hear crackles somewhere in my lung and promptly sent me over to x-ray.  I wasn’t expecting it but she wanted to make sure I didn’t have pneumonia.  I don’t.  When I was leaving for the x-ray I quickly mentioned that I needed to discuss something with her when I got back.  I did that so I couldn’t back out telling her about my foot.

I went back to her office and sat down.  She looked at me expectantly.  I sat there for what seemed like eternity but I’m sure was only seconds.  I said that I needed her to look at my foot but was feeling some stress about it.  I said it involved knives.  I really don’t like knives.  And then very quickly I told her that my father cut something out of the bottom of my foot with a knife.

My doc looked at me with understanding and said it was completely understandable why I would be stressed about this.  She said that it must be bringing up some flashbacks.   I knew with that statement she had awareness about this sort of thing.  And that made me feel better.  She said no knives would be involved.  She gave me a couple of treatment options.  I went with the least painful one and if it doesn’t work I will try the other option.  None of which involves knives thankfully.

She also asked if I had heard from the possible new therapist yet.  I told I hadn’t.  I said the therapist told me she would phone in January.  I said I would wait until the end of the month before I phoned again to see what the scoop was.  My doc told me that she doesn’t like to tell me what to do but she said “I’m telling you to phone her tomorrow”.  She told me I took a big leap to contact another therapist and to follow-up now and not wait.  My doc knows how unobtrusive I tend to be. So sometime this week I will work up some courage and phone, as much as I hate to.

It seems the simplest of things take so much effort.  But I did it.

This entry was posted in Abuse, Anxiety, Control, Conversation, Father, Fear, Hurt, Panic, Terror, Therapist, Therapy, trauma, Trust and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Simple is not so Simple

  1. JBR says:

    First off dear one I am glad you have a doctor that was able to understand and recognize your fears about your foot! Amen. I agree too that you did great in contacting another t. Praying it will be okay in your spirit to call. Safe hugs.

    • lostinamaze says:

      I’m glad to have her as my doctor. She always takes time for me. As for contacting another t I sure have mixed feelings about that!

  2. Amanda says:

    I am so so glad your doctor was so understanding and gentle with you. I was so happy to read that your appointment went well. I hope the treatment helps. It can definitely be hard to contact (and follow up with) a new therapist – I hope that she/he contacts you soon or that you’re able to get in touch with them.

    Have a wonderful rest of your week.

    • lostinamaze says:

      The following up part is so hard for me to do. The feeling of not wanting to bother someone is strong in me. I have many mixed feelings about it all.

  3. attached says:

    I’m glad the doctor understood and took care of you. I hope your foot feels better soon. I’m so glad you were able to ask her to look at it and express your concerns. It was very brave of you. I don’t think it would have been simple and it only looks that way if you can ignore all your experiences that taught you asking for help resulted in getting hurt.

    I hope you that the therapist contacts you soon.

    • lostinamaze says:

      It bothers me when I know some things should be simple but really aren’t. When the experiences get in the way and I can’t seem to do anything about it. I’m hoping the therapist will contact me soon as well. I dislike this waiting game.

  4. Way to go Lost 🙂 I’m so proud of you 🙂

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