Distracted, Nervous and all of the Above

On Thursday I meet with the potential new therapist.  This fact has distracted me so much I have to keep checking my calendar to see what the current day is and when my therapy appointment is. I hate when that happens to me.  Grounded? Not at all. Very disconcerting to say the least.

I’m very nervous.  I will need to write out the questions that I need to ask plus some of the things I would like to work on.  I know she will ask what I want to work on.  I need to say something more than ‘I don’t know’.  Most of the time I know I need some sort of help but can’t exactly put my finger on what.  I have gotten better at this since I came to realize a good part of my ‘problem’ is rooted in the trauma.

I also have this feeling that I can’t shake that nothing will turn out anyway with this appointment.  It will all go wrong.  I’ve developed this feeling since everything that has happened with the agency.  So I’m ready for the worst.

I need to remember the potential therapist might be able to help me in ways that my former t couldn’t.  But I also despair of having to start anew.  Having to build up some trust.  I can’t help thinking the trust factor will be harder to develop this time.  You know the old saying (or maybe you don’t)  ‘once bitten, twice shy’.  I’m probably three times shy.

I worried about this whole process.  Because of all the above. And then some.

 

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10 Responses to Distracted, Nervous and all of the Above

  1. Just Be Real says:

    Dear one I am so very sorry for all your anxiety. It is expected. Because you do not know what to expect. But, I think once the initial meeting on Thursday happens, you will have more of an idea what to expect. It is good that you are writing out what you would like to say. Because I know in times like these, memory is a lost thing, with me at least. Will be praying and looking forward to your follow up post on this. Safe hugs.

  2. Good luck today, and remember to breathe. You can do this.

  3. Amanda says:

    I’m a little behind in the times, but I’m hoping your session went well.

    How did it go?

  4. Can’t wait to hear how it went! xx

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