Category Archives: Hurt

Unexpected

Driving home from my session I received a message, ‘dad is not expected to make through the weekend’.  I was in a vulnerable state, as usual, after a session.  Dad? Oh yah, ‘Wayne’, the man I never call ‘dad’. I … Continue reading

Posted in Abandonment, Abuse, Attachment, Conversation, Family, Father, Fear, Grief, Hurt, Relationships, Terror, trauma, Trust, Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Lines upon Lines

I paint a straight, horizontal, grey line about two inches thick.  Within the line I paint a few red thin streaks here and there.  Under the grey line I paint another line. This one is a least five inches think … Continue reading

Posted in Abandonment, Abuse, Control, Conversation, Grief, Hurt, Therapist, Therapy, trauma, Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Why I Need Therapy

Although I was able to work through the issues that I wrote about in the last post through sheer determination there is still so much more.  And the saddest thing is that I never knew where these problems came from.  … Continue reading

Posted in Abandonment, Abuse, Anxiety, Attachment, Change, Control, Conversation, Dissociation, Fear, Hurt, Panic, Panic Disorder, Relationships, Terror, Therapist, Therapy, trauma, Trust, Uncategorized | 6 Comments

Who am I?

I left her office feeling beat up and lost.  Questions swirling through my head. Who I’m I anyway?  What happened to me as a child?  These questions have been with me quietly in the background in the last few years. … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, Change, Control, Conversation, Family, Father, Fear, Hurt, Mother, Relationships, Running, Therapist, Therapy, trauma, Trust, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 10 Comments

Paranoid

A few days after the incident where the clinical supervisor left me a message leaving her name and agency name I received a letter in the mail.  My sister picked up the mail which is out of the ordinary.  I … Continue reading

Posted in Anxiety, Control, Family, Fear, Hurt, Mother, Panic, Psychiatrist, Relationships, Terror, Therapist, Therapy, trauma, Trust, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Clinical Supervisor

Sorry for the long post… It will take me a while to type this out.  I broke my wrist on Sunday.  Nothing major, just some small bone called the scaphoid. It is slow to heal. Now my left wrist is … Continue reading

Posted in Abandonment, Attachment, Control, Conversation, Family, Hurt, Psychiatrist, Relationships, Therapist, Therapy, trauma, Trust, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Simple is not so Simple

I’m glad my doctor’s appointment was yesterday.  Today our town had to declare a state of emergency.  There has been a raging blizzard for a couple of days with temps of -30 c and that doesn’t include the wind chill … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, Anxiety, Control, Conversation, Father, Fear, Hurt, Panic, Terror, Therapist, Therapy, trauma, Trust | Tagged | 10 Comments

Sick

I don’t usually don’t do warnings about triggers because I don’t really know what triggers people.  I try not to talk or write  in detail mainly because I don’t like to.  But there might be some stuff in here that … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, Anxiety, Dissociation, Father, Fear, Hurt, Relationships, Terror, trauma, Uncategorized | 10 Comments

First Day Conversation

I really enjoyed having two days off in a row.  It’s a very rare occurrence and it’s been probably over a year since I’ve had two days off together.  Not counting my disastrous holiday that is. A couple of interesting … Continue reading

Posted in Anxiety, Family, Fear, Hurt, Terror, trauma, Uncategorized | Tagged | 6 Comments

Anxious Thoughts

I’ve been thinking or more honestly trying not to think what it will be like to re-enter therapy.  (if it happens that is) It makes me nervous, real nervous to let my thoughts wander that way.  I’ve been wondering what … Continue reading

Posted in Abandonment, Anxiety, Attachment, Fear, Hurt, Panic Disorder, Relationships, Therapist, Therapy, trauma, Trust, Uncategorized | 11 Comments