Category Archives: Mother

No Privacy

I haven’t been able to blog since my last post due to lack of privacy.  My living space is now in the throes of renovations.  Drywall dust abounds.  I have been relegated to the living room. At night I sleep … Continue reading

Posted in Change, Control, Conversation, Family, Mother | 2 Comments

Why I Don’t Need Therapy

I often question my need for therapy.  The questions started shortly after ending with my former therapist.  There was so much that I was able to work through before everything fell apart.   I was able to work through stuff without … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, Agoraphobia, Anxiety, Attachment, Change, Control, Family, Fear, Mother, Panic Disorder, Relationships, Therapist, Therapy, trauma, Trust, Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Who am I?

I left her office feeling beat up and lost.  Questions swirling through my head. Who I’m I anyway?  What happened to me as a child?  These questions have been with me quietly in the background in the last few years. … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, Change, Control, Conversation, Family, Father, Fear, Hurt, Mother, Relationships, Running, Therapist, Therapy, trauma, Trust, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 10 Comments

Paranoid

A few days after the incident where the clinical supervisor left me a message leaving her name and agency name I received a letter in the mail.  My sister picked up the mail which is out of the ordinary.  I … Continue reading

Posted in Anxiety, Control, Family, Fear, Hurt, Mother, Panic, Psychiatrist, Relationships, Terror, Therapist, Therapy, trauma, Trust, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Eighth Session

She said she thought it was the best session so far.  I looked at the group member and thought “interesting, I thought it was the worst one”.  For me anyway. They talked about conflict.  Not a good topic for me.  … Continue reading

Posted in Anxiety, Control, Dissociation, Family, Father, Fear, Mother, Relationships, Terror, Therapy, trauma, Uncategorized | Tagged | 10 Comments

Mother and Child

I sit on the couch watching the television, my eyes wander, looking at the piles of paper that surround me.  I remind myself that I am no longer a part of this world.  That I can walk away at any … Continue reading

Posted in Control, Mother, Uncategorized | 23 Comments

Two Words

The session tonight was a little more like the sessions I had before the break.  I wanted to try to be more ‘before the break’ self.  We actually had some chit-chat before we got into the homework she gave me … Continue reading

Posted in Abandonment, Attachment, Change, Control, Mother, Uncategorized | 20 Comments

Change and Control

You have a rigid personality much like an autistic person would have.   Change causes you an abnormal amount of anxiety.  You have a hard time moving through the unknowns of life.  You want to tightly control what happens in … Continue reading

Posted in Abandonment, Anxiety, Change, Control, Mother, Psychiatrist, Therapy, trauma, Uncategorized | 14 Comments

Mother, Mother, where are you?

In my last session my t gave me homework.  She gave it to me because of some questions that I don’t remember asking her but apparently did.  It is a sheet of paper with three questions on it. Also in … Continue reading

Posted in Abandonment, Attachment, Mother, Therapist, Uncategorized | Tagged , | 6 Comments