Category Archives: Relationships

Unexpected

Driving home from my session I received a message, ‘dad is not expected to make through the weekend’.  I was in a vulnerable state, as usual, after a session.  Dad? Oh yah, ‘Wayne’, the man I never call ‘dad’. I … Continue reading

Posted in Abandonment, Abuse, Attachment, Conversation, Family, Father, Fear, Grief, Hurt, Relationships, Terror, trauma, Trust, Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Click

One day this past week I was reading a book with a half an eye on the movie ‘The Incredible Hulk’, that was playing on TV.   I wasn’t paying too much attention to it when I happened to look up … Continue reading

Posted in Attachment, Conversation, Relationships, Therapist, Therapy, trauma, Trust, Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Words

I live in my head, unconnected to my body.  I am starting to see how true this is.  In last night’s session as well as many sessions before she asks me how I’m feeling.  She asks me what are the … Continue reading

Posted in Abandonment, Abuse, Anxiety, Conversation, Dissociation, Family, Fear, Grief, Relationships, Running, Therapist, Therapy, trauma, Trust, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments

Feral

I was like a feral cat growing up I told my therapist.  Running from one hiding spot to another.  Constantly trying to find a hiding spot physically and within myself.  Always on edge, always tense, muscles never relaxing.  Always trying … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, Family, Fear, Relationships, Running, Terror, Therapist, Therapy, trauma, Trust, Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Why I Need Therapy

Although I was able to work through the issues that I wrote about in the last post through sheer determination there is still so much more.  And the saddest thing is that I never knew where these problems came from.  … Continue reading

Posted in Abandonment, Abuse, Anxiety, Attachment, Change, Control, Conversation, Dissociation, Fear, Hurt, Panic, Panic Disorder, Relationships, Terror, Therapist, Therapy, trauma, Trust, Uncategorized | 6 Comments

Why I Don’t Need Therapy

I often question my need for therapy.  The questions started shortly after ending with my former therapist.  There was so much that I was able to work through before everything fell apart.   I was able to work through stuff without … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, Agoraphobia, Anxiety, Attachment, Change, Control, Family, Fear, Mother, Panic Disorder, Relationships, Therapist, Therapy, trauma, Trust, Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Who am I?

I left her office feeling beat up and lost.  Questions swirling through my head. Who I’m I anyway?  What happened to me as a child?  These questions have been with me quietly in the background in the last few years. … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, Change, Control, Conversation, Family, Father, Fear, Hurt, Mother, Relationships, Running, Therapist, Therapy, trauma, Trust, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 10 Comments

No Time to Breathe

The last few weeks have been a whirl wind of activity.  A few things that have happened in the last few weeks are I had to go for a MRI after a six month wait.  This week I went for … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, Anxiety, Control, Conversation, Relationships, Therapist, Therapy, trauma, Trust, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments

Paranoid

A few days after the incident where the clinical supervisor left me a message leaving her name and agency name I received a letter in the mail.  My sister picked up the mail which is out of the ordinary.  I … Continue reading

Posted in Anxiety, Control, Family, Fear, Hurt, Mother, Panic, Psychiatrist, Relationships, Terror, Therapist, Therapy, trauma, Trust, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Clinical Supervisor

Sorry for the long post… It will take me a while to type this out.  I broke my wrist on Sunday.  Nothing major, just some small bone called the scaphoid. It is slow to heal. Now my left wrist is … Continue reading

Posted in Abandonment, Attachment, Control, Conversation, Family, Hurt, Psychiatrist, Relationships, Therapist, Therapy, trauma, Trust, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments