Category Archives: Uncategorized

wordless

I have a motherI needed a mom whose lap I could sit onI have a motherI needed a mom who would listen to meI have a motherI needed a mom who would help me fight my battlesI have a motherI … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Sick

Sorry I haven’t blogged in a bit. I’m not planning on stopping. It just I’ve been so sick this summer. I have missed a few therapy sessions because of this. I keep getting one flu after another it seems.  Hopefully … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Unexpected

Driving home from my session I received a message, ‘dad is not expected to make through the weekend’.  I was in a vulnerable state, as usual, after a session.  Dad? Oh yah, ‘Wayne’, the man I never call ‘dad’. I … Continue reading

Posted in Abandonment, Abuse, Attachment, Conversation, Family, Father, Fear, Grief, Hurt, Relationships, Terror, trauma, Trust, Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Integration

I haven’t given this word much thought. I’ve read many blog posts on this concept but never related any of it to myself.  That is until a few sessions back. We didn’t talk about this in-depth it just came up … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, Anxiety, Control, Conversation, Dissociation, Fear, Therapist, Therapy, trauma, Uncategorized | 6 Comments

Click

One day this past week I was reading a book with a half an eye on the movie ‘The Incredible Hulk’, that was playing on TV.   I wasn’t paying too much attention to it when I happened to look up … Continue reading

Posted in Attachment, Conversation, Relationships, Therapist, Therapy, trauma, Trust, Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Lines upon Lines

I paint a straight, horizontal, grey line about two inches thick.  Within the line I paint a few red thin streaks here and there.  Under the grey line I paint another line. This one is a least five inches think … Continue reading

Posted in Abandonment, Abuse, Control, Conversation, Grief, Hurt, Therapist, Therapy, trauma, Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Wordless

warning: this will be about suicide I have picked up my computer a hundred times only to put it back down a hundred times.  So much is swirling through my head but I can’t seem to find the words or … Continue reading

Posted in Anxiety, Conversation, Grief, Suicide, Therapist, Therapy, trauma, Uncategorized | 6 Comments

Words

I live in my head, unconnected to my body.  I am starting to see how true this is.  In last night’s session as well as many sessions before she asks me how I’m feeling.  She asks me what are the … Continue reading

Posted in Abandonment, Abuse, Anxiety, Conversation, Dissociation, Family, Fear, Grief, Relationships, Running, Therapist, Therapy, trauma, Trust, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments

Hectic

I haven’t been online much in the last month or so and I’ve been really missing it.  My life has gotten more hectic than normal.  I just want to let everyone know what’s going on. I finally got my cast … Continue reading

Posted in Therapist, Therapy, Uncategorized | 6 Comments

Feral

I was like a feral cat growing up I told my therapist.  Running from one hiding spot to another.  Constantly trying to find a hiding spot physically and within myself.  Always on edge, always tense, muscles never relaxing.  Always trying … Continue reading

Posted in Abuse, Family, Fear, Relationships, Running, Terror, Therapist, Therapy, trauma, Trust, Uncategorized | 4 Comments